So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize