I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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