While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
