out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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