He is such a slut. More and more my type.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Green mimosas i think yes
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
