I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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