i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
