Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
