Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
