I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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