Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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