I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
