Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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