Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Pants are for mortals
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
