I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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