just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
