Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I think people are normalizing furries
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
