i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
