i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
