I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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