If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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