Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
