the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
