i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
