we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
