that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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