Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
