Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
