he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
