If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
