you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
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You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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