I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
