He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
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Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
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Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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