Yo dont text me then not text me
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
