Don't you send me to vm
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
