i would punch a child for taco bell
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
