i was born a porn star she said
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
