Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
