the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
