that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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