I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
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like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Is Oprah even human
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
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