I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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