Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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