Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
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