I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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