god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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