I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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