Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
