Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
