Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
