i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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