I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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