some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
