I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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