okay pat passed out under dana's car
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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