U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
