Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
