tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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