We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
organizing the empties. That sober.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
