Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
