Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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