Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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